Friday, April 16, 2010

Fearing Like a Man

My hands are soft. I notice it most when cooking. People will grab the thin metal saucepans right off the fire with their are hands, unfazed. The first time I saw this, I assumed that the pan was not very hot, and picked it up to move it elsewhere. You can guess how that worked out, and the painful burns left me wondering how he could have handled it so easily. Occasionally, when a pan is really hot, I've seen someone grab a leaf or two and use them as insulation, I would still burn through the leaf.

The other day I was eating at a friend's house, and was in the little kitchen building with him and his sister in law, marveling at the toughness of her hands. A saucepan of boiling water sat on the crackling fire, to which she added maize flour to make posho (think grits). Posho, however, requires a lot of vigorous stirring, and these saucepans have no handles, so she firmly grabbed this blazing hot pan with one hand and began stirring with the other. Occasionally she would change her grip, probably for a break from the heat, but her hand was usually down on the side of the pan, basically among the flames that were licking around her fingers from below. She didn't flinch, didn't show a hint of discomfort. I told my friend how amazing this was to me, and he told me that women here have much tougher hands than men.

He told me about a saying that women have. When multiple women are together cooking, if one of them reaches for some leaves to protect her hand from the scorching heat of the pan, the others will ridicule her, saying, "Why are you fearing fire like a man?" Cooking is so much a part of the identity of women here, that one can be shamed for not having that food-preparation toughness, and resorting to the soft means of protection that men use.

I'm guessing it's callouses, and nerves damaged due to repeated burning, and simple toughness. One way or another, women here are tough. This discussion leaves out the fact that, before building the fire, women collect and carry the firewood. I've seen women who must be 70, tiny, frail looking, and hunched over, carrying on their backs massive loads of firewood that must weigh 60 pounds or more, bent almost 90 degrees at the waist, looking at the ground, slowly putting one foot in front of the other as they move up the road. It's incredible.

So here's to tough women who provide for their families, who spend most of their days doing the mundane things like hauling and splitting firewood, peeling matooke, and taking hold of blazing hot pans - and who don't fear like a man.

2 comments:

Abigail said...

"She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls...She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks...Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all" (from Proverbs 31). Sounds like many women (myself included) could learn a thing or two from the women you write about!

Anonymous said...

What an unusual topic. Micro and full of color. Loved it.